Diary #1: What Does ‘Two Lines’ Mean? | Verve Magazine
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May 15, 2014

Diary #1: What Does ‘Two Lines’ Mean?

Text by Imran Khan. Photograph by Colston Julian

31-year-old Indian film industry actor, Imran Khan, is all set to become a father. In an exclusive vervemagazine.in series, he pens a diary about the expectations and emotions experienced by a soon-to-be parent

There’s a baby coming. No preamble to speak of, really; there we were, just going about our business like any other day, when it happened. The test was positive. I mean, people get married, they have kids, it’s all part of the plan. We’d even had a few conversations about having kids, but it was all pretty intangible. Something which would happen at some indeterminate point down the road. Not today. Not on a Sunday, I mean come on, that’s supposed to be a holiday! Anyhow, we double checked to make sure we were reading the results correctly, hyperventilated a bit, she said some words I’d rather my child didn’t learn, and in an hour or so, it was officially official: There’s a baby coming! Excellent. Now what?

Now, we wait. And we read. And we buy things, so many things! Feeding bottles, pacifiers, baby bath tubs, bottle sterilisers that aren’t compatible with the feeding bottles we’ve bought, so we need more bottles…you get the idea. And for the longest time, it seemed like that was what having a baby would be about. Some kind of bootcamp where you will learn skills like swaddling and changing, and you will acquire the tools and equipment needed to get the job done, soldier! Intense.

The advice started pouring in soon after. ‘Read this book, I promise it will change the way your baby poops!’, and ‘Are you serious? You haven’t registered for preschool yet?’, or ‘Almond oil, bro. You know what I’m talking about {wink}.’ Things were getting curiouser and curiouser, and I will admit that cracks were starting to show. We started to wonder if we were in over our heads (probably), if we were going to mess something up (almost certainly), and if we were ready for this at all…. (Trick question! Nobody in the history of the world has ever been ‘ready’, nor is there any way to actually be ready). Things were looking pretty scary. Tears were shed on more than one occasion, and while I’d like to just blame it on pregnancy hormones, I’m pretty sure men don’t produce those.*

Pregnancy is a crazy roller coaster, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You lose sight of the happiness and forget why you wanted kids in the first place; so that you can have a person you will love above all others. Someone you get to explore the world with, as they discover things for the first time. Someone whose personality will emerge and develop right in front of you. That’s what I’m most excited about. I get to introduce someone to Fawlty Towers and The Beatles. I get to buy matching big and small Batman T-shirts for us to wear (no, I’m not kidding. Just you try and stop me). Life’s about to change, and there’s a lot of pain and frustration around the corner. I don’t for a second think that any of it is going to be a cakewalk…but I do think there are going to be some truly awesome moments. Here goes nothing.

*citation needed, author is not a trained medical professional.

Read what Imran felt after his daughter’s birth right here.

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