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Etiquette Nanny
March 17, 2014

Who is Verve’s Etiquette Nanny?

Illustration by Wyanet Vaz

It isn’t taught in text-books, and most of it has been recorded through observation. So even though you’ve spent a considerable amount on Huffington post, it’s ultimately all about (forgive the gushing) mirroring the expert. Meet Verve’s resident etiquette expert, EN.

5 Things you should know about Verve‘s Etiquette Nanny

1. I’m no babysitter. A babysitter is often slacking, letting kids eat candy and run through the house hitting each other with plastic swords. A nanny is not that. I’m here to help harried individuals undertake the monumental task of following socially acceptable behaviour.

2. I inspect before I expect. Even before I have extended my ‘Hellos’, I have already calculated the distance between each spoon and fork, while mentally whiplashing the host for some unforgivable mistakes.

3. Say anything and you’re toast. Nothing is more disturbing than getting enlisted in the foot-in-mouth league. Sentences should be worded, re-worded, edited, edited and edited, before they slip off your tongue. In other news, I also part-time as a Grammar Nazi.

4. I only believe in lists. Acknowledged as Monica of the etiquette world, the keystone to civilisation is obviously meticulous organisation. Such a shame we can’t speak in pointers.

5. Spazziness, not on my watch. Butter fingers, I’m watching you!

Watch this space every month. You might learn a thing or two. Write me on if you have questions or if you just want to thank me.

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