Sports & Fitness
FIFA World Cup 2014: Fantasy League
While we have been given the rules of the game, like sacrificing the remote control, steering clear of the TV screen “if you need to pass, you need to crawl”, and mentally memorising the line-up so we do not interrupt with unnecessary chatter. Don’t let the confusing scores, the mind-boggling penalties, or the old referees in tiny pants let you down. FIFA World Cup 2014 is all about anxiously waiting for the moment when the shirts come off and the beefy footballers have figuratively devirginized you.
Click on the eye candy below to devour the gallery and our thoughts on each one of them:
This would be a baseless listing without CR7 as our undoubted man candy. Although he is hilariously ungracious in defeat, you don’t say this to any of his 54 million Facebook fans. If that wasn’t enough, he also has his own brand of – wait for it – briefs. And socks. The point of watching the matches at a sports bar is only to see Cristiano close-ups as huge as our racing hearts can handle.
As everyone’s granny is by now aware that Messi is the leading footballer, you must then check out YouTube videos of his dribbling skills. The Argentinian soccer star is 5ft 7inches and is clearly the ambassador of the famous “good things come in tiny packages.” Rumour has it, that he has never been caught having a one-night stand in a club. We’re cheering already!
Post reading this, we know you will be rattling about him, so pronounce Jesus as ‘hey-zuus’. You’re welcome. Particularly known for his speed, he is Spain’s answer to Usain Bolt. We couldn’t find any evidence of him formally modelling, after all, how can one not be lost in those beautiful eyes?
As captain of the Spanish team, and the first Spanish player to lift the World Cup in 2010, he rates high on our hot-o-meter. We like his hair parted to the side and the fact that Ronan Keating’s ‘When you say nothing at all’ is his favourite song. This is what you must zoom into when Spain is playing.
The 22-year-old cannot go five minutes without sharing a picture of himself (mostly shirtless) on Instagram. Quirks aside, he is touted to be the next Pelé of the football scene. Besides his bleached Mohawks and the signature radio that travels with him, Neymar has his own share of viral videos where he flaunts some graceful dance moves. We must warn you, they are quite addictive.
Always sporting a long-sleeved jersey and a 100-watt smile, the 6ft-4inches-footballer moonlights in our deepest darkest fantasies. He is particularly known for his sea blue eyes, even Google analytics confirm the same. His girlfriend Shakira once gushed, “He deserves a million love songs written for him.” We are so working on it.
Mats Hummels has officially topped our list of McDreamys. He is known to be a book worm and gets his smooth word play from Lucky Luke and Asterix. Insert starry eyes here. With a curly mop of hair like that, he is definitely ogle worthy. Don’t blink when the camera catches his smoldering gazes.
We just hope that Suarez is a changed man now. For those who aren’t up to speed, he was banned for biting an opponent. Not kidding. Don’t miss the funny memes on Google, especially the one where he sports a Bane mask! There’s no doubt we are attracted to the bad boy of football and we’d be secretly screaming “Bite me!”
Now that you’ve probably chosen your favourite, find out if there’s a super-hot WAG lurking around.