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SoBo’s Take On Park Avenue’s Elite
Text by Sitanshi Talati-Parikh
FITTING IN
1 The Moms With The Look
PARK AVE “Every day after dropping my son off at school, I cried. Not because it was touching and sweet to watch him cross the threshold of the classroom. Not because letting him go was some metaphor for watching him grow up. […] No, I cried because the other moms were so mean. […] They gathered in the hallways in clusters and cliques, heads bowed, murmuring, laughing, whispering. They all seemed to know one another somehow, ‘from before’. Their uniform telegraphed that they were one tribe united – their identical Burberry raincoats on rainy days and their chic puffers on cold days. They crinkly Lanvin flats, or the high heels that screamed, ‘I have a driver.’”
HERE Where you are either in or you are out. And that gets decided in a fraction of a second or by the sparkle of the diamond. Who said that bit about judging a book by it’s cover?
2 Impossible Play Dates
PARK AVE “Our children request that we arrange for them to play with someone after school, and we arrange it…by text or email or phone. […] But my texts, emails, and phone calls to the mothers of my son’s classmates went unnervingly unanswered. Even worse, when I followed up in person with the moms in the hallways, they frequently put me off or changed the subject. […] My sons and I, I realised as the other moms continued to look through me every day, were play date pariahs. […] It was clear that on the UES, moms and toddlers had their pecking order worked out…. I was late to the ball, and it made me feel desperate. […] I needed to like and be liked by the moms at school.”
HERE That time when the child sees his friends jet off together on after-school play dates, while he comes home alone to a loving mother. Or nanny.
3 You Are In Or You Are Out
PARK AVE “To live on the UES, it was dawning on me, is to see and feel the ‘looks’ exchanged by women, or imposed upon us by one another—a gaze that is not infrequently ravenous, competitive, laser-like in its precision and intent. The gaze draws you into the game, even if you don’t want to play. […] There are the covert and not-so-covert gazes as we wait for elevators in school hallways, gazes that take in an entire wardrobe in an instant, women swallowing other women whole like boa constrictors, in order to digest them and pick apart the details later….”
HERE Bitchy? Who?
4 Being Ostracised
PARK AVE “Shame and fear for not fitting in or of falling out or of being ostracised, rather than the fear of going to hell or prison, are the main means of social control.”
HERE The bit where is doesn’t matter what you are guilty of, just what you are worth.
5 The Right Crowd
PARK AVE “These women were not talking to one or two or three particular moms. They had a laser-like focus, it became obvious, on what I came to think of as the highest-ranking female – those who were, it seemed, richer, prettier, more successful or, most important of all, married to someone more successful than anyone else – someone who, apparently, mattered more.”
HERE There is a strict social order and you have to stick to it. You can’t be seen talking to someone ‘unimportant’. And who you hang out with, associate with and eventually marry, are all indicators of your own worth.
6 An Afflicted Society
PARK AVE “Anxiety and stress are diseases of the West, afflictions of the WEIRD—anthropologist Jared Diamond’s acronym for Western, educated, industrialised, rich, democratic peoples. […] Our blood pressure surges to 180/120 not in order to save our lives, but as we sit in traffic or worry about terrorism. And we can’t find the Off button. So momentarily, adaptive stress becomes chronic stress and perpetual anxiety.”
HERE Where the affluent woman has a serious complaint about stress and inability to deal with her varied first-world problems. And the fact that the nanny is threatening to leave while the back-up nanny is one leave. And about how to out-do the party and gifts organised by the other mothers.
7 Turn To The Bubbly
PARK AVE “To be an UES woman with young children is to drink wine. […] At arts-and-crafts studios where mommies take their kids for birthday parties and rainy days, wine is served as early as 11:00 a.m.”
HERE The story of the baby shower where everyone was plied with champagne, and the one about the kiddie party where the wine flowed faster than chocolate milk.
8 Are The Rich Depressed?
PARK AVE “It’s not just alcohol. On the UES, benzodiazepines are a girl’s best friend. Plenty of the Manhattan mommies I knew relied on prescription drugs, daily. […] They took anti-anxiety meds to fall asleep. They took them in the middle of the night, when they work up with their hearts pounding, panicking about schools or money or whether their husbands were faithful. They took them to calm their nerves before drop-off or a luncheon where they expected to encounter more frenemies than friends….”
HERE Where the society flourishes on anti-depressants. Because being rich is…depressing?
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
SoBo’s Take On Park Avenue’s Elite
What do the elite of Mumbai have in common with those of Manhattan? See if you can spot your neighbourhood sophisticate here….
FITTING IN
1 The Moms With The Look
PARK AVE “Every day after dropping my son off at school, I cried. Not because it was touching and sweet to watch him cross the threshold of the classroom. Not because letting him go was some metaphor for watching him grow up. […] No, I cried because the other moms were so mean. […] They gathered in the hallways in clusters and cliques, heads bowed, murmuring, laughing, whispering. They all seemed to know one another somehow, ‘from before’. Their uniform telegraphed that they were one tribe united – their identical Burberry raincoats on rainy days and their chic puffers on cold days. They crinkly Lanvin flats, or the high heels that screamed, ‘I have a driver.’”
HERE Where you are either in or you are out. And that gets decided in a fraction of a second or by the sparkle of the diamond. Who said that bit about judging a book by it’s cover?
2 Impossible Play Dates
PARK AVE “Our children request that we arrange for them to play with someone after school, and we arrange it…by text or email or phone. […] But my texts, emails, and phone calls to the mothers of my son’s classmates went unnervingly unanswered. Even worse, when I followed up in person with the moms in the hallways, they frequently put me off or changed the subject. […] My sons and I, I realised as the other moms continued to look through me every day, were play date pariahs. […] It was clear that on the UES, moms and toddlers had their pecking order worked out…. I was late to the ball, and it made me feel desperate. […] I needed to like and be liked by the moms at school.”
HERE That time when the child sees his friends jet off together on after-school play dates, while he comes home alone to a loving mother. Or nanny.
3 You Are In Or You Are Out
PARK AVE “To live on the UES, it was dawning on me, is to see and feel the ‘looks’ exchanged by women, or imposed upon us by one another—a gaze that is not infrequently ravenous, competitive, laser-like in its precision and intent. The gaze draws you into the game, even if you don’t want to play. […] There are the covert and not-so-covert gazes as we wait for elevators in school hallways, gazes that take in an entire wardrobe in an instant, women swallowing other women whole like boa constrictors, in order to digest them and pick apart the details later….”
HERE Bitchy? Who?
4 Being Ostracised
PARK AVE “Shame and fear for not fitting in or of falling out or of being ostracised, rather than the fear of going to hell or prison, are the main means of social control.”
HERE The bit where is doesn’t matter what you are guilty of, just what you are worth.
5 The Right Crowd
PARK AVE “These women were not talking to one or two or three particular moms. They had a laser-like focus, it became obvious, on what I came to think of as the highest-ranking female – those who were, it seemed, richer, prettier, more successful or, most important of all, married to someone more successful than anyone else – someone who, apparently, mattered more.”
HERE There is a strict social order and you have to stick to it. You can’t be seen talking to someone ‘unimportant’. And who you hang out with, associate with and eventually marry, are all indicators of your own worth.
6 An Afflicted Society
PARK AVE “Anxiety and stress are diseases of the West, afflictions of the WEIRD—anthropologist Jared Diamond’s acronym for Western, educated, industrialised, rich, democratic peoples. […] Our blood pressure surges to 180/120 not in order to save our lives, but as we sit in traffic or worry about terrorism. And we can’t find the Off button. So momentarily, adaptive stress becomes chronic stress and perpetual anxiety.”
HERE Where the affluent woman has a serious complaint about stress and inability to deal with her varied first-world problems. And the fact that the nanny is threatening to leave while the back-up nanny is one leave. And about how to out-do the party and gifts organised by the other mothers.
7 Turn To The Bubbly
PARK AVE “To be an UES woman with young children is to drink wine. […] At arts-and-crafts studios where mommies take their kids for birthday parties and rainy days, wine is served as early as 11:00 a.m.”
HERE The story of the baby shower where everyone was plied with champagne, and the one about the kiddie party where the wine flowed faster than chocolate milk.
8 Are The Rich Depressed?
PARK AVE “It’s not just alcohol. On the UES, benzodiazepines are a girl’s best friend. Plenty of the Manhattan mommies I knew relied on prescription drugs, daily. […] They took anti-anxiety meds to fall asleep. They took them in the middle of the night, when they work up with their hearts pounding, panicking about schools or money or whether their husbands were faithful. They took them to calm their nerves before drop-off or a luncheon where they expected to encounter more frenemies than friends….”
HERE Where the society flourishes on anti-depressants. Because being rich is…depressing?
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5