Circle of Friends: An Immersive Conversation On The Issues Facing Women | Verve Magazine - Part 5
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April 20, 2017

Circle of Friends: An Immersive Conversation On The Issues Facing Women

Text by Prabha Chandran

Aparna Sen, Lillete Dubey and Shabana Azmi, along with successful women from diverse fields, look into the issues concerning the contemporary woman

Ingredients for Success

As all the women around the table are embarking or have already achieved various degrees of success, the three collaborators are asked to name one trait that is an important ingredient for success.  For Lillete it’s’ important to “let go of your past to get ahead. We hang on to so much baggage…you need to forgive yourself, too, for things you might have done wrong to people. The second most important thing is gratitude, to look at what is there, not what is missing. That gives you so much strength.” Shabana says an important habit she learned from her husband Javed, “is just be pleasant with everybody. Then you are putting out transmitters creating good will. Do you talk to your maid about her children? I’m harassed sometimes but one should never be rude…even if you don’t do anything it’s’ better to be pleasant than be doing a lot and being nasty. I really need to work on this, though,” she confesses.

Aparna agrees and adds that she’s often in a position telling people what to do. She likes to qualify censure with something like, “I don’t expect this from you. Flirting is also important — with women too, not just men,” she says. “It takes you a long way, being charming. If you flirt you get all your work done. I’ve been an extraordinarily lucky filmmaker. However small, I have a dedicated audience who always go to watch my films. Lillete adds, “Karan Johar once asked Konkana, ‘How many people saw 15 Park Avenue? Was it 15?’ One very important thing is to challenge oneself, take risks…Never be afraid to fail even though you can be torn down so fast despite a strong body of work… to grow you have to constantly challenge yourself.”

Next: On good looks…

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