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SoBo’s Take On Park Avenue’s Elite
Text by Sitanshi Talati-Parikh
LOOKING GOOD
1 Ready To Be Seen
PARK AVE “The moms were dressed to kill, though none of them seemed to have jobs. They were on their way to I didn’t know where, but obviously to them it mattered. Often the most overdressed ones – tipping in their platform boots and sky-high stilettos – would call out, ‘See you there!’ […] The world of school was turned inside out – it was all about the moms. The moms air-kissing and hobnobbing and chitchatting and sometimes backstabbing. The kids…were part of a fashionable ensemble, dangling from the impressively toned arms of their mommies like ornaments or accessories. Motherhood, I gathered, was another outfit.”
HERE The elite outfit of motherhood can easily be distinguished in the bodycon dresses (within 2 months of having delivered a baby, please note), stilettos, a heavy dose of Dior, Chanel, Hermes and Prada, poker straight hair and liberal doses of expensive makeup.
2 The Bagwati Status
PARK AVE “Something about these arrogant women, who pushed and crowded me as though I didn’t exist, let alone matter, made me want a beautiful expensive bag. Like a totem object, I believed, it might protect me from them…. Perhaps a nice purse like the ones they had might trick them, mesmerise them…plus it may annoy them.”
HERE In a society where some women care more about statement accessories than clothes, it leads to a a heavy dependence on the bag (and the watch and solitaires). Being seen with the right object is enough to bolster a wavering sense of confidence. Even if the outfit is weak and the personality is insecure, ‘Bagwati’ saves the day.
3 Yummy Mummies
PARK AVE “Pregnancy on the UES, it seemed, was about having the best, buffest, sleekest pregnancy possible, while meant a pregnancy in which you acted as if you weren’t pregnant at all. The expectations regarding one’s appearance—to be glamorous and gorgeous—were unyielding, exacting, eternal. […] Just as we had to excel at being beautifully pregnant, so, too, we had to be the most gorgeous mothers of infants, babies, toddlers, and young children that it was possible to be.”
HERE Despite what the older gen think about laddoos and such, the new-age desi mother wants to look ‘accidentally’ pregnant — as in, not that she doesn’t know how it happened, but that she doesn’t need to be perceived as obviously pregnant. Bring on the body-con dresses that flaunt a tiny protruding belly and a perfect figure to boot. Ensure that you have a perfect figure-hugging outfit for the baby shower, and you reach the full-term pregnancy mark with not a gram above the suggested limit. There are nutritionists that specialise in ensuring this.
4 Size Zero Sickness
PARK AVE “…I was actually losing weight from severe morning sickness. […] I looked like a stick that had swallowed a basketball, my husband observed. And this…made me something of a lightening rod for the women around me…. ‘You bitch,’ said one. ‘I want terrible morning sickness next time!’ ‘Oh my God, you look fantastic,’ another enthused, entirely ignoring my gray, blemished skin and focusing on my scarecrow-like arms and legs.”
HERE The story of the girl who had severe allergies and the women who envied her because the allergies kept her stick-figure thin. Not being able to eat, is apparently a good thing!
5 The Green Syndrome
PARK AVE “The women all around me were willing to practically kill themselves in their quests to look as though they had the effortlessly perfect, graceful bodies of twentysomething nulliparas. As for food, fat free and low cal was pathetically passé. It had to be organic, biodynamic, detoxifying, and antioxidant-rich. It had to work as hard for them as they worked on their bodies…. No one knows repeated rejection more intimately than a server proffering canapés at an UES or East End cocktail party. His life is No. No thank you. Not for me. No. No thanks. Nope.”
HERE The story of the cliques of women who are on exploratory diets and on certified organic food. If it’s says so on the packet, it must be true. And not to forget living off various kinds of seeds, veggies and cleansing juices. How about a mental detox?
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
SoBo’s Take On Park Avenue’s Elite
What do the elite of Mumbai have in common with those of Manhattan? See if you can spot your neighbourhood sophisticate here….
LOOKING GOOD
1 Ready To Be Seen
PARK AVE “The moms were dressed to kill, though none of them seemed to have jobs. They were on their way to I didn’t know where, but obviously to them it mattered. Often the most overdressed ones – tipping in their platform boots and sky-high stilettos – would call out, ‘See you there!’ […] The world of school was turned inside out – it was all about the moms. The moms air-kissing and hobnobbing and chitchatting and sometimes backstabbing. The kids…were part of a fashionable ensemble, dangling from the impressively toned arms of their mommies like ornaments or accessories. Motherhood, I gathered, was another outfit.”
HERE The elite outfit of motherhood can easily be distinguished in the bodycon dresses (within 2 months of having delivered a baby, please note), stilettos, a heavy dose of Dior, Chanel, Hermes and Prada, poker straight hair and liberal doses of expensive makeup.
2 The Bagwati Status
PARK AVE “Something about these arrogant women, who pushed and crowded me as though I didn’t exist, let alone matter, made me want a beautiful expensive bag. Like a totem object, I believed, it might protect me from them…. Perhaps a nice purse like the ones they had might trick them, mesmerise them…plus it may annoy them.”
HERE In a society where some women care more about statement accessories than clothes, it leads to a a heavy dependence on the bag (and the watch and solitaires). Being seen with the right object is enough to bolster a wavering sense of confidence. Even if the outfit is weak and the personality is insecure, ‘Bagwati’ saves the day.
3 Yummy Mummies
PARK AVE “Pregnancy on the UES, it seemed, was about having the best, buffest, sleekest pregnancy possible, while meant a pregnancy in which you acted as if you weren’t pregnant at all. The expectations regarding one’s appearance—to be glamorous and gorgeous—were unyielding, exacting, eternal. […] Just as we had to excel at being beautifully pregnant, so, too, we had to be the most gorgeous mothers of infants, babies, toddlers, and young children that it was possible to be.”
HERE Despite what the older gen think about laddoos and such, the new-age desi mother wants to look ‘accidentally’ pregnant — as in, not that she doesn’t know how it happened, but that she doesn’t need to be perceived as obviously pregnant. Bring on the body-con dresses that flaunt a tiny protruding belly and a perfect figure to boot. Ensure that you have a perfect figure-hugging outfit for the baby shower, and you reach the full-term pregnancy mark with not a gram above the suggested limit. There are nutritionists that specialise in ensuring this.
4 Size Zero Sickness
PARK AVE “…I was actually losing weight from severe morning sickness. […] I looked like a stick that had swallowed a basketball, my husband observed. And this…made me something of a lightening rod for the women around me…. ‘You bitch,’ said one. ‘I want terrible morning sickness next time!’ ‘Oh my God, you look fantastic,’ another enthused, entirely ignoring my gray, blemished skin and focusing on my scarecrow-like arms and legs.”
HERE The story of the girl who had severe allergies and the women who envied her because the allergies kept her stick-figure thin. Not being able to eat, is apparently a good thing!
5 The Green Syndrome
PARK AVE “The women all around me were willing to practically kill themselves in their quests to look as though they had the effortlessly perfect, graceful bodies of twentysomething nulliparas. As for food, fat free and low cal was pathetically passé. It had to be organic, biodynamic, detoxifying, and antioxidant-rich. It had to work as hard for them as they worked on their bodies…. No one knows repeated rejection more intimately than a server proffering canapés at an UES or East End cocktail party. His life is No. No thank you. Not for me. No. No thanks. Nope.”
HERE The story of the cliques of women who are on exploratory diets and on certified organic food. If it’s says so on the packet, it must be true. And not to forget living off various kinds of seeds, veggies and cleansing juices. How about a mental detox?
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5